Category: Weekly Checkup

Nicolete suggested this topic and it is a topic eventually that I would have come to during the normal course of things. Drugs are everywhere and personally I’ve never had a hard time finding them.

When I lived in Florida I was parked in a gas station eating a hot dog before I got going. A man walked up to me and said “you good”? That’s slang for do you want any of the drugs I have :P. He has pills and I don’t go pills. If I do drugs its either pot or cocaine depending on the night. Doing the work I did for as long as I did it you learn that cocaine leaves your system in 24 hours. So if they drug tested me I would just not use for a couple days. Yes. I worked as a fire fighter with a cocaine habit. See, fire fighters do get drug tested so you need something that will leave your system quickly.

Many people are not like me and can function while they are impaired. I know my limits and never exceed them meaning I would never drive on cocaine or any other heavy drugs. Ive been smoking pot heavily for a couple months now and just started smoking again when I was 40 because that takes a long time to leave your system which was a problem with my job.

The stuff I’ve seen because of drugs should really make me not want to use them and sometimes I don’t know why I do. Nico suggested I talk about young people and the loss of their future by using drugs because they steal and rob people for money to get drugs. Im kind of living proof that not everyone does that sort of thing to get their fix but their are some!

Those some you can see in the cover of store opening because that’s the only place they can sleep. Some people spend every dime they have on drugs and those people are NOT like me. I pay bills first then I get my drugs :P. Those people who spend every dime they have are the ones sleeping in store door openings for the protection from the elements. Someone like me cant understand how they allow their addition to control them so much.

Children in my opinion have no right to be near any drugs at all. School first then you experiment and have your fun. Children who use drugs in school really have a poor outlook on life. Shock and awe is what usually works. Show those children where the man who spends his last dime on drugs sleeps. Or bring them to the morgue because I know even tonight as I sleep 2-4 people will over dose in my state to a point of needing medical intervention or worse.

I do not categorize alcohol as the same as like weed for instance. Weed is legal in my state and everyone is going to the dispensaries for it. However I think alcohol is worse than weed. I mean look at it from the point of view of a random motorist on the road with you. Would you want them drunk out of their minds so that they couldn’t walk much less drive? Or would you rather have a man who smoked a joint just before getting in his car. Honestly you are prolly saying neither but as a pot head who has been drunk before I suggest that the pot head driving would be safer. Either way this is against the law just like driving impaired. I don’t know if the same penalties apply.

Either way drugs are bad for you and so is alcohol but everyone needs a vice. There’s a lot of bad stuff out there which totally messes you up worse than anything I’ve mentioned here. My stance on drugs is everyone lives once let them do as they wish with that life.

p.s. if you have any comments about this post please leave them here

My Christmas was ok. Family came over (well most of them) and me and my mother ate Christmas dinner together. My father chose to not eat. Why let him ruin our meal right? The turkey was good and potatoes and gravy but that’s all I ate. We are having pies in a little while.

Sorry about my last posting it was kinda everywhere. Ill try and organize my posts better.

This post is going to be short I can tell because although I want to write (type) I have nothing to say…

Oh fun fact I have carpal tunnel so my left hand is rather numb. Its more numb when I put the brace on but my wrist hurts less. Give and take, win some lose some.

Something exciting is the grand opening of Sailor Online’s new cap. Its a progressive system so the cap raises every few months. All I do now a days is run events in game but in Sailor’s early years I was the man who MegaMax trusted to build his support system as well as handle the difficult discord stuff so he didn’t need to learn it.

I think I did a rather good job honestly. Now there are people like eAM who learned from the things I was doing and Lumi. I’m not bitter that they learned from me and dominate the support aspect of the job, it had to be done. Honestly, I’m feeling too old and impatient to do support anymore. Ill leave it to the young bucks.

Good news though. Megamax is going to somehow write something for me to use for hide and seek. It will contain a bunch of spawn points, he said 100 but I’m shooting for more. I will prolly take staff and player suggestions.

That’s about it though nothing exciting going on in my life. Just another Christmas.

-E

I would like to start this off by wishing everyone a pleasant holidays no matter how you celebrate or don’t in some cases. I will talk a little about everything in this post so don’t mind my randomness.

First off I would like to address something I wanted to blog on but every time I tried I couldn’t. Relationships, can be hard or can be your kind of life. For me I’m single and I will remain single. There’s nothing out there that pornhub cant give me. I’m jaded though because of a previous issue with an ex.

Occasionally I think the ex should have died for what she did to me. Sometimes I think and hope she has a better life than I could provide. Don’t get me wrong… I’m the kind of guy who could walk into a bar and score a woman at least for some company if not for a little rub-a-dub. However, all my motivation is gone and I see the opposite sex as the enemy. So I put up a wall..

My walls don’t come down. Its safer for me and for future interests if I just sit behind my wall. Even though it is lonely. Especially this time of the year the loneliness shows up. I have my dog Spot but a canine companion can only do so much for you.

This past week I was at a friends house cuz his girlfriend went to Florida to visit her parents. When she got there she found out that he step mother found out that her father was cheating. I mean, is there no seriously strong relationship out there? The drama from that really took up a lot of my time with my boy Charlie. In fact he said something to be that I took to heart. He said you cant trust anyone but your brothers. I’m his brother and I’ve been best friends with him for the last 15 years.

Anyway the holidays always get me down.

I had a user come and read my blog and he says it needs more pictures so Im going to try and spruce up the blog site in the next couple days.

On the topic of loneliness I urge anyone who feels this way and has no outlet to come to me and I will listen in an un-biased manor. Others have confided in me before on discord in direct messages and I welcome anyone who needs someone to talk to.

On to lighter topics. I’ve been fucking with a duckhunt script in IRC of course its an eggdrop. I’m sure my buddy SCR will help me out with it. Other than that I’m all set for Christmas. Everyone is getting a gift card this year. Easy for me!

I guess since its Christmas and some of you might feel down maybe a story will show you how lucky we are just to survive.

Sometime mid afternoon we get a call at the station that there is a kid choking and he is just around the corner. We get there in legit minutes to find a toddler blue and not breathing. We perform manual thrusts to the back of this toddler but he wont start breathing again.

We put him down and tried to intubate him but his airway was so narrow we were unable to do it. The rescue showed up and cut into the Childs throat and inserted a tube so he could breath.

As I said this happened right next to the fire house. We were friends with the parents of the child so we drove the fire truck behind the rescue all the way to the hospital. We had to stop twice to try and get his heart beating again.

The toddler ended up dying and for 2 weeks we had out engine out of service because we were at the parents house trying to do anything we could to help them deal with their grief including watch the couples other children while they buried this one.

So.. Life can be ups and downs but always know this. Someone else’s ups and downs may be worse. We should all take a second and think about other people’s feelings and state of mind.

Merry Christmas to all

<3

What its like to be me… lets see. I moderate one of the bigger SRO servers discord and let me tell you there IS such a thing as burn out.

I’ve had the unique experience of being around for every staff members first and last days (some of those last days I made happen myself). We’ve had some good staff and some bad staff but I respect every one of them for trying. Support is NOT an ideal role for anyone.

Some staff members would exit the role of support peacefully and some others would not however it is a unique experience. For the most part of Sailor it was me who hired and fired staff. I suppose it is still me but now I have other voices to listen to. It was easier alone because if they failed the fault would lie on my shoulders. Now it doesn’t matter who hired the supporter the blame still falls to my shoulders.

We are a short step from mandatory classes for supporters. As it is now I have created documents on google docs which the supporters have to read to get the info they need for the exams I give. The sad part about it is I see others thinking its a joke.

Sure we don’t get paid but does that mean that the customer (any user) shouldn’t get the support they need? Fine question there huh? I say no matter the pay (whatever it is) there are certain people who do support for the heck of doing it in the first place. These are the people we want to recruit into Sailor.

I don’t know what got me on this tangent but I will just end it here by saying good supporters do it for the lost blind or idiotic.

On to other news. I asked a question in my last blog post here and I got one response from Nicolete. He said he lives in Egypt and it has one of the highest poverty rate in the world. He also mentioned that there is no middle class. Its the rich versus the poor.

I’d like to think even this has nothing to go with government but doesn’t it always? Why does this go on in the world now a days?

Anyway please feel free to comment about any of my posts here which will be the temporary place for comments till I get comments working here.

I will be looking for topics to discuss soon and you guys can get at me if you have a topic you want me to discuss or anything. I’m doing this for the people who asked me to do it.

<3

-E

p.s. I didnt really talk about being a moderator or being a manager but I will in my next blog posting.

Hello Gang!

I’m going to put this out there. No one should go to bed hungry. I see so much homelessness around the major cities in my home state. It could be a person sleeping in a doorway to a store to escape the wind or it could be the guy at the end of the highway off ramp holding out his hand for your change. Sometimes they even have a sign saying you know god bless or something else. I’ve always thought about homelessness as being the major battleground for political messages. Everyone says they have the right plan.

I mean my state put in parking meters that aren’t for parking. They are used to donate to the poor. I have specifically worked with the poor on a few occasions bother professionally and socially. I used to volunteer at a soup kitchen where I was always pressured into cooking for them (I’m a good cook). I’ve also done outreach missions where we go check on at risk people where they stay. This means sometimes going into the woods with a water bottle and a flash light. I have some horror stories about this as well but we will not go there today.

There’s many reasons why someone would become poor. Maybe it was the guys son needed an operation and in getting that life saving treatment he was left poor and penniless. It could also prolly be something like the man whos begging for your change is a drinker and will only drink away your donations.

So what is the best way to help/protect these people of the street? I’m sure you guys have had some dealings with seeing the poor on your streets and I would like to hear about them in my chat channel here.

Off topic but this chat channel will be used to discuss my posts until I can get the comments section working on the CMS. I can open it all up and anyone will be able to comment even anonymously.

Back to constructive topics… I really want to hear what poverty is like in other countries and how many the countries themselves combat this in their citizens. I wonder if other countries have the same issues that we have in America with their veterans being homeless and never mind talking about the suicide rate of returning soldiers. Which sometime maybe we will.

I’ve given you all a small task today which is to reach out to me here and tell me what you think about the post first of all and secondly how poverty affects your country and how they combat it on a government level.

I’m going to end it here tonight. I had a tooth pulled earlier and I think meds and sleep are in order for me.

-E

First I want to talk about something that happens to people my age. People my age end up watching their parents age and cant do anything about it. I’ve always been a caregiver so Ill handle it well. I had a grandmother who had Alzheimer’s so I would do simple things for her. Like remind here to eat or to check the mail. I took some time out of work when things got really bad.

One day she flooded her apartment while taking a nap. She had forgotten that she put the sink on to fill her tea pot. She did other things to but always laughed about it. This seems selfish but I used her to talk to. She couldn’t remember what was said 5 minutes after it was said so it was really good that I could vent.

I wanted to switch the topic and talk about my one true love. (Since I don’t know how to upload media yet I will do the less fun kind of picture sharing). My one true love He is always waiting for me after I get out of the shower or when I get home from work. Not even a wife is as attentive as he is to my needs and my exhausting.

So this IS a story kind of post so I will include one from very early in my fire fighting career.

So sometime before 2am (because thats when the club had to close) we get a call for a man unconcious and bleeding inside the club. So they tone us out and we get up and get dressed. When we got there it was haotic there was a group of people outside the club near the entrance.

First thing I saw was there was a car on fire in the parking lot. This is what I saw even before I get out of the truck. When I finally get out and hit the ground the tires on the car start to burst and I swear Ive never been so scared in my life (the noise is loud).

However we have a guy hurt in the club and no one was in danger from the car fire. One police officer arrived on scene at that time. So we all went into the club. It was dark and smoky (you could smoke almost anywhere remember this is early 2000s). Of course there was a massive amount of people in the club and finally when we found the guy he was really hurting. Blood was coming from his head and he was unconscious. So we begin to work on this guy right there in the club with no rescue and just 1 cop to hold back the crowd. We begin CPR because the man was not breathing and out of no where these 2 other guys start to fight. Now we are standing in a packed club with 1 cop and there’s fighting going on all around us. My captain Jeff got a bottle of something to the head and he was hurt so we decided to drag the injured man out of the club.

Before we got to the door the cop ended up in a fist fight with someone and I was nervous he would lose control of his gun. The man who we were still doing cpr on wasn’t responding and we were getting ready to intubate because the rescue was finally there.

Out of no where some man with a neck the size of my thigh punches an electrical meter on the side of the club and gets electrocuted. Now we have 2 guys down and the cops hurt so we have 3 patients. Around that time more police showed up and the situation was controlled.

The man who was in the club unconscious died and so did the man who punched the electric meter. There was another engine on scene now for the car fire and we decided to clear the scene and lick our wounds.

Sometimes we take for granted the security we have or the well being that we maintain however you never know when shits going to go totally bat shit crazy.

Anyway its early but I have to get up at 4am to get to work for 5. If any of you have suggestions for topics I should write about please from them in my DM or get at me anyway you can.

<3

Hello and welcome to my blog!

First and foremost let me thank Scramble for the help to make this possible. I would also like to thank Kyouko for which if I didn’t have my little buddy I wouldn’t get through half the stuff I do.

I will talk about everything here including my life and social interactions thoughout the week. I should post a couple times a week but we will see how much I actually post.

Im thinking maybe some people could give me topics to talk about and give my point of view. However to begin I think Ill tell you about the omnipresent E.n.i.g.m.a.

I am 45 and I live in Rhode Island, USA. I didnt have everything I wanted growing up but I had enough sometimes a roof and a full belly are all thats needed. I spent 20 years working on a fire department and loved it. I left it because it took its toll on me from psychological to physical. Now I feel like an old man whos been put through the wringer.

I value all life and believe that all lives matter even the smallest and most insignificant. I do not believe in a higher power but I believe in evolution.

My online life has been extensive. First time I got online was with dialup to a bbs where I met a friend who taught me some things about bbs’ in general. He also made me a sysop which was my first taste of moderation. I also helped him to write our own bbs and occasionally it will still come up with friends. That bbs’ name was Pendragon.

After that I got involved with a mud. A mud is a text based game in which there is PVE PVP and RP. On the mud I was what you would call an Immortal. My responsibilities where not only moderation but also ran into the realm of building areas and other higher function things that an admin would do. I spent quite some time there but I cant remember dates. The mud was based on a favorite series of mine The Wheel of Time by Robert Jordan. There are 16 books in the series and they are all 900+ pages.

Then after that I went to GameSurge which is an IRC server. IRC is like discord except there is no voice connection available. I stayed with GameSurge for a very long time and I still log in there and catch up with friends. On GameSurge I rose through the ranks and became a trainer. I have been on GameSurge since 7-22-04 and in its highest activity time I was doing many different support things at once which included support and sometimes some detective work.

Following GameSurge I went to discord and learned how to program bots and became friendly with a lot of ppl who otherwise I might not have a chance to meet. After I learned discord as much as possible I started looking for other projects.

Now I get into my SilkRoad Online days. First I was with Electus and did a lot of their guides and worked closely with admin staff. I learned more about SRO with Electus and then one day it was time to move on. After a word from a friend Hype I learned about Sailor Online so I moved SRO servers and communities to fully support Sailor Online. I made a lot of friends on Sailor and learned tons. Recently I have been feeling a bit under appreciated but Im sure its just myself wanting more attention and praise. Either way Im getting older now and it might be time for me to stop doing online stuff in my free time and start enjoying the life I have. I also help out on many discords including Ticket Tool and I visit many SRO communities. I have held partnerships with Ticket Tool as well as StatBot for the past 5 years.

I have 2 siblings both brothers and I am the oldest. They are both married and I am not. We dont get the time to talk like we used to but we still share holidays together. Im old enough now that I have parents who are having problems getting around and doing stuff for themselves. I give them all the help I can because in the end Im here because of them. Ive done some reach out stuff with the homeless which is kinda like just checking up on them throughout the cold nights to make sure they are ok.

Other things I enjoy is star gazing which I do every chance I get when Im not in a city. I also enjoy movies and reading fantasy/sci-fi novels. I enjoy cooking and helping others. I enjoy music, rock and roll of course but also some emo and alt rock bands.

In this blog I will write about what people want me to voice an opinion on (if I have one). I will also share stories and probably should include a NSFW waiver or a NSFC (children). I will write about things I notice living in America and things I do in my life. Sometimes it will be funny and sometimes it will be god awful terrible. None the less we will share what is appropriate to share.

This is a pretty good start to my blog. I hope to get some ideas from ppl about what they think I should touch upon in my blog. If you wish to contact me Im always on discord or you can email me at enigmafromri@gmail.com

• Enigma